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Dear Carma,

Now that my mother’s long, last road has finally come to an end, I would like to reflect on how very much I appreciate you and your team and how you took such amazing care of my mother (and, therefore, of me).

There are so many specifics; I don’t know where to begin.  So, if my very best friend needed care for a loved one, this is what I would say:

·         Carma always knew the right thing to do.  Whether it was a real medical necessity or an emotional need, Carma responded appropriately.  Yet, I never felt “managed.”  I felt loved and cared for, as did my mother.

·         Carma always knew the right thing to say.  I marveled at her questions to my mother and then her responses to my mother’s comments and questions.  I so appreciated her explanations to my mother and those to me–  the same information, presented so very differently for our different needs.

·         Carma was always dependable.  I knew she would be there when my mother needed her.  I knew that the staff at Cove Point could always reach her.  I knew that she would always call me back and follow through.  She never, ever disappointed me or even made me wait.

·         Carma was always right.  Well, we all thought my mother was going to die sooner than she did, so “right” might be relative.   However, she looked beyond the obvious and clichéd to find true cause of action, thought, or symptom—all indicative of experience and common sense and just downright “smarts.”

·         Carma was always loving and thoughtful.  She was so very kind to my mother, who was not always easy to be kind to.  And she was kind to me, which, in my opinion, was beyond her “job description.”

·         Carma was always cute and fun.  Dying is awful on everyone, so bringing a smile and an easy laugh and a cheerful (yet direct!) attitude makes so much difference.  She was charming and gracious every day.  Every time.  Every day.

So, that’s what I would tell my best friend.

Thank you, Carma.  I trusted you so much, and you exceeded my every expectation.  You were the element in the last eight months of my mother’s life that made it possible for me to do all the other things that I really had to do for my career, for my daughter and grandson, for my husband, for my own health.  I seriously do not believe I could have survived without you, and I am eternally grateful.

With love, hugs, and all my wishes for a successful, healthy, and happy life,


Sherron Bienvenu, PhD

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